Thursday, October 15, 2015

R.I.P. Playboy

    "What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy." Dennis Miller

 Playboy Enterprises recently announced  that they will no longer be showing nude centerfolds.
Damn!!! Playboy has been a part of my life for as long I can remember being a young, and horny dude.  I bought my first Playboy at age 16.  The last staple issue. September 1985. The centerfold was Venice Kong. It was also the one with  Madonna's black and white photos ( i.e. hairy armpits ).

Getting to look at a Playboy magazine before you could actually buy a Playboy magazine was one of the Easter Eggs of a young man's life. When I was of age, I had a subscription to the magazine and it was like Christmas when it arrived every month.  From the centerfolds, to the celebrity centerfolds, to the celebrity interview, Playboy offered it all for a young man.  But mostly if offered nudity.  Lots of full on, airbrushed nudity and like fire, it was good. Now of course, there are and were brothas versions of Playboy- most notably Players, that offered nudity with women of color. Players was not bad but it was also not exactly the airbrushed goodies that Playboy offered.

The Producer picked up the Playboy subscription after me and as you get older and gain more experience and actually see real girls naked, you do begin to enjoy the other things the magazine had to offer. Tips of fashion and drinking, the sports related articles, and the political commentary.  But what it still did offer was nudity and lots of it. Playboy became an institution and a rite of passage for young, female celebrities and actresses.  Who could ever forget when Cindy Crawford or Elle McPhearson did Playboy?  It was like, "Wow, she is gonna be in Playboy?" We couldn't wait until that issue came in the mail!

Of course with the internet, finding nudity is super easy.  And instead of posing for Playboy, "celebrities" would release their own pictures or a sex tape and bypass the rite of passage to fame to infamy.  Nudity became too common for Playboy to exist in its current format.  Why pay for this when an Instagram model is giving it to me for free?  I have not actually purchased a Playboy in ten years of more and with the lack of sales, Playboy sees the writing on the wall and are going to switch it up.  Maybe its permanent or maybe just a marketing ploy to drum up business for a dying breed.  I'm not sure but I do know that calling it "Playboy" and having it become Maxim is really pointless, so I give the new Playboy about 2 more years.

So we say, Peace, Playboy... You provided me and the Producer hours of entertainment ( much of which we will not discuss).  I'd say you'll be missed but we both know that is not true.

My Favorite Chocolate Bunnies

Mister Mister

PS The worst pictorial  post 1980 was Drew Barrymore, She must have needed drug money. Lindsey Lohan is a close second!

No comments:

Post a Comment