Of all the different genres of film, the one I do not mess with at all( anymore) is horror! I know some people love watching those movies and like to get scared, but I don't fuck with it anymore! It started early for me watching black and white movies of the Creature from the Black Lagoon( why the lagoon gotta be black?) and extended all the way through Freddy, Jason, Mike Meyers, and them Scream movies! I've never had the stomach for it, yet when I was younger, I kept getting pulled into or forced into watching them and then being terrorized with fear for months trying to get what I saw out of my head! Ima keep it 100, I slept with lights on, with knives under the covers, or with my mom after some of these joints! So when I see these new movies about to come out in the fall around Halloween, it always brings back them creepy feelings! I'ma share with you some of my favorite" I don't fuck with that horror movie" moments! So turn on your night light, get yo knife , and get in bed with your mom cuz Ima about to scare you and myself.
In order of age when I saw it!
The Birds and Psycho
I was around 8 when I saw these movies! In our hometown, Channel 2 always played a Sunday afternoon movie and these 2 movies were played frequently! Plus my mom loved these movies and would watch them whenever they was on. These movie put me off birds and showering (not that the shower worked in our house)! Even today, the butt hole still gets tight when I see flocks of birds or rickety houses with stairs leading to them.
I was around 8 or 9 when I saw this, too. If you have never seen the original, its so fucked up on so many levels. The powers, the abuse, the teasing from her classmates. The pulled a Colombine with her powers at the prom scene near the end! The movie is brutal and at the end( spoiler alert) at her grave site made me pee myself a little bit!
This movie came out when I was 7 but I did not see it until I was 9 or on Showtime! Man, listen! I posted this picture today on our Facebook page and this is a legit, irrational fear black people have about the water.
I got sucked into this movie because the dude who played Hutch on Starksy and Hutch was the star. If you don't know about this movie, then stay ignorant to it because its messed up and was made when vampires wasn't trying to be cute. These Vampires suck in this movie and the main one is scary as hell. Our family was actually on a mini family reunion in Detroit when this movie came out. We had grandparents, moms, dads, uncles, aunts, and cousins all over my uncles house. For some reason, our family decided that it would be okay for even the little people to watch this movie. So Big Hutch and I, who were both under 12, and about 8 or so cousins who were barely over 12, was watching this movie with our family and our uncle traumatized us for years by sneaking out and enacting a scene from the movie and scared the hell out of everyone in the house. People was jumping chairs and tables. There was real tears shed that night and not just by children.
I saw this on Showtime also and apparently Showtime liked to scare the hell out of little kids! The movie came out in 1980, but I probably saw it when I was 12 tho. I did not understand the movie then and even when I saw it later in life, I still didn't really understand it. All I know is them twin little girls was freaks, blood was flowing in hallways, REDRUM, and Scatman Crothers played the role of "only black guy in the film will get killed"!
Friday the 13th
I saw these movies kinda on a dare. First one came out in 1980 but I saw it when I was 13-once again on Showtime. The first one is probably the scariest to me, along with the 3rd one. I mean brothas don't mess with hockey anyway, so seeing Jason( or his mom) hacking people up in that hockey mask didn't do it for me. As I was a teenager now, I did like these movies because you knew at some point you was gonna see some breasts- so that helped. The movies got more ridiculous as they went on and you would think that would make it easier for me to watch, but no. My funniest Friday the 13th story is when Brother Beavis' brother got high and watched all the movies up to that point and detailed name and method of death for each character in the movies. The 3D one messed me up good when Jason popped out of that lake at the end- Fuck the world for me! When I did finally do a sleep away camp in my 20's as a camp counselor, I did not get on that lake in the daylight, let alone at night. I also did not smash a counselor which mean movies are bullshit!
Now I had a girl that I liked, whose family was friendly with my family, and when our families got together, the kids would all go in the basement to watch a movie. One time, that movie was Halloween. Now I really liked this girl. A crush that would make her my "out of town" girlfriend, a crush that extended into high school, college, and beyond. So if she asked me to sit with her on a futon and hold my hand to watch Halloween, DAMNIT, I was doing it! What she didn't know, or maybe she did, I was terrified and made her big brother walk me to the bathroom in their dark basement thinking this masked ninja might jump out and kill me. This girl had me tho and even convinced me to watch Halloween 2 and 3. I was 13-14 at the time and this movie ruined Halloween for me-to this day. Even now when I take my kids out for Trick or Treat, the sight of any one in cos play as Mike Meyers makes me do a double take or makes me cross the street.
|How good does Jamie Lee Curtis look?|
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It was only held twice, but Big Hutch and I hosted a Vulture Party- basically alot of our neighborhood friends would come over and we would have a sleepover in our basement. We would play games, wrestle, and just hang out. Part of that hanging out, besides eating pizza, was my mom would rent a VCR( that ought to tell you how long ago this was), and we would watch a movie. One year, the movie was Texas Chainsaw Massacre( the original). The movie is more creepy, than it is scary in parts. But Leather Face is wearing the skin of his victims AND this shit was supposedly a true story so 13 year old me was quite frightened by this. Best thing was that I had all my friends there and maybe he would kill them before he could kill me. I think we rewinded the scene wear Leatherface pounds dude into the ground from the freezer about a thousand times.
Nightmare on Elm Street
This one pretty much put me off horror for the rest of the 80's. I mean I would see some sequels to Friday the 13th here and there, but the original Nightmare probably did more psychological damage to me than any other movie. Just writing this now at 11:00 PM, I am getting queasy about posting the pictures and even more queasy about going to sleep. Our friend Gary had a video copy of the movie and he and Big Hutch must have left it at the house and me, thinking Ima bad ass( to watch it during the daytime mind you) watched it. That was a mistake. A huge mistake. The movie is brilliant in its execution literally and figuratively. The idea that a ninja can kill you while you sleeping was terrifying to me and lightweight still is. I got through some of the movie alone( until the scene where his arms are long chasing that girl down the alley).
|STOP THE TAPE!|
That's part 1. Sadly, like a dumbass, I didn't learn much from the 80's and kept allowing girls to pull me into these movies and wound up having to puff my chest out and see these movies on dates and be thinking, " I wonder if I can get her to stay over but sleep with the lights on?'
Part 2 coming soon!
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